


Missing You

by LondonGypsy



Category: Kane (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4005808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonGypsy/pseuds/LondonGypsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little fluffy peace following the events of  <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4005493">Making Circles </a><br/>Can also (hopefully) be read as stand-alone. <br/>The boys are missing each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing You

**Author's Note:**

> Transferring some old fics from my LJ to here.  
> This is from Nov '11.  
> A huge thank you for beta'ing to my darlin [SuperWhoLockGypsy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoLockGypsy/pseuds/SuperWhoLockGypsy) and [MutedByFear](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mutedbyfear/pseuds/mutedbyfear) for the inspiration for this!  
> All remaining mistakes are mine.

 

 

 

“ _[Missing you brings me down, I'm so sad when you’re not around in the night, while someone holds you tight inside your room. I’m all alone till the afternoon arrives and you drive into the space I hold for you... but you just drive through... Cause I wanna stay up late, I wanna celebrate the dawn with you... and I wanna chance to make, every dream you’ve had come true..](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJgpXR4mg2Q)._ ”

The words are floating through the cool air, the notes almost visible in the damp mist that covers everything in a white blanket. Christian can almost see the hands, strumming carefully over the strings, in the twilight laying over the city.

He pulls the thick sweater closer around himself and takes another sip of his coffee. He hasn’t seen the sun in a while; either it’s raining cats and dogs or the sky is just gray and overcast.

He feels dull and empty; nothing can distract him from the sting in his heart.

His day had been long and he knows that he should head to bed, get the well-deserved sleep he's craving. But he can't, he’s waiting for the phone to ring, for the one and only reason he's still up, passing time listening to the voice he's missing so much. 

The song fades into another one and he closes his eyes, lets the voice wash over him, soothing his aching body and soul.

The cell laying next him on the bench starts buzzing and a smile spreads over his lips. Without looking he takes it and answers the call with a soft:

“Hi.”

There's static for a short moment but even that makes his heart beat a tiny bit faster.

“Hey.”

Just one word and it feels as if the sun comes out, warming his limbs, and his smile grows wider.

Neither says anything for quite a while, they just listen to the breathing on the other end.

The song stops, and for a moment there is perfect silence before another one starts.

Christian hears a soft chuckle and the husky sound has him shudder.

“You're playing my songs.”

It’s not a question but Christian answers it anyways.

“I miss you. So I have at least a little bit of you here with me.”

There's that chuckle again, a rustle, and then Christian hears his own voice in the background, before it gets turned down again.

He snickers.

“Takes one to know one, hmmm?”

“You're not the only one pining...”

“I know.”

“How much longer?”

“Three damn long days. Have you packed yet?”

“Hell, I packed the second you left.”

“You're crazy.”

“Yeah, about you.”

Christian sighs and closes his hand tighter around the phone.

“I wish it was already time for you to be here.”

“I know, me too.”

Both fall silent, just enjoying listening to the other one breathing.

They both hate phoning, there's too much to talk about and too little time.

They pretty quickly settled with just listening to each other, not really talking. Sometimes they play a new piece to the other one, sometimes there's something they need to tell one another, but mostly it’s just this: sitting on the deck, watching the sky and knowing the other one is doing the exact same thing.

It’s comforting and helps to ease the pain of being separated.

“Did you sleep?”

“Not yet, I was waiting for your call.”

“Go to bed, it’s late.”

“I know.”

Christian doesn't move a muscle.

“Chris...”

He chuckles; Steve knows him too well.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“C'mon, it’s getting cold.”

“Pfft, you know me.”

“I do. Get inside.”

Christian grins ruefully and gets up, taking his empty mug inside with him.

He suppresses a shudder as he closes the door. He didn’t realize how cold it was until he came back into the warm apartment. He switches off the lights and wanders into his bedroom.

He crawls into bed and snuggles under the covers.

“In bed now. Happy?”

There's that husky laugh again, chasing goosebumps up and down his spine.

“Idiot.”

Christian rolls his eyes but he's still smiling as he curls up around himself, the phone still firmly pressed against his ear.

“Ass.”

“Sleep.”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Don’t call me Mama, Mister, or you get your ass kicked hard when I arrive.”

Christian snorts softly but he shifts a bit until he's comfortable. His eyes slide shut and his breathing evens out.

“Good night, Chris.”

It’s only a rough sigh but it echoes in Christian's head like it's right beside him.

“Sleep tight, man.”

“Three days.”

“Three fuckin' days.”

“Soon.”

“Can't wait.”

Christian feels himself slipping into sleep and he disconnects the call without another word. Only seconds later he is sound asleep, a gentle smile still lingering on his lips.

*

When he wakes up again, it’s still dark. He blinks and groans as his body reminds him of the stunts he did yesterday.

“Ugh, I'm getting too old for this shit,” he mutters and pulls the blanket over his head again.

Minutes later he pushes it away and gets up; he knows it’s still early and he could stay put but he's too restless.

With half-closed eyes he walks into the bathroom, and then to the kitchen to make himself coffee.

While he listens to the spluttering of the coffee maker his eyes wander through the apartment, scanning all the little things that have changed in the last 6 months.

There's a new candle on the couch table.

His guitar sits on its stand, next to the empty -new- one.

There's a shirt laying over the back of the couch, and it could've been one of his own but it isn't.

There are a couple of new pictures on the windowsill.

It’s nothing big, just some small things, but they've changed Christian's life in so many ways.

He pours himself a cup of coffee and wanders to the window to have a closer look at those pictures.

They are gig shoots, by fans no less, but he saved them to his computer and printed them out. He just likes the way they captured the fun he always has on stage.

Wide grins and sparkling eyes, even through the stillness of the photographs the love and the passion they all have for what they do shows.

Christian takes one of the frames; it’s his favorite picture. He would never admit it but he loves the way he looks in it: wide shining eyes, a huge grin on his lips, beaming and happy. He usually doesn’t like the pictures anybody takes of him, but he likes this one.

The doorbell tears him out of his musings. Frowning he throws a glance at the clock. It’s too fucking early to have anybody coming around.

He walks to the front door and opens.

“What the...?”

He gasps and his jaw drops.

“You? What...how...?”

He's stammering and for a second he wonders if he's still dreaming.

“Hi.”

Steve's smile is blinding as he lets his bag drop to the floor, stepping forward to pull Christian into a tight hug.

His scent hits Christian's nose like a punch in the gut and for a moment he's frozen in place. But then he returns the embrace, burying his nose in the wild, blonde hair of the other man. He inhales the faint smell of sun and salt deeply, pressing him against his chest.

“Are you gonna let me come in?” Steve murmurs softly against his neck.

Christian pulls back and nods mutely.

Steve grabs his bag and Christian steps aside to let him in. He closes the door and takes a deep breath before he turns, and their eyes lock immediately.

There's silence for a moment; neither of them says a word and Christian just drinks in his sight.

Steve is wearing jeans and boots, a thin white shirt and the red leather jacket Christian loves. His hair is loosely tied into a messy ponytail, and it makes Christian's finger itch with a sudden need. He closes the gap between them and pulls the hairband out. The blonde curls fall on Steve's shoulders and Christian wonders when they had gotten that long. He raises a hand and tugs on one strand, twisting it around a finger.

“It’s gotten long,” he mumbles quietly.

“And yours is too short,” comes the soft reply, accompanied by a small frown.

Christian shrugs.

“I know. It'll grow back.”

Christian's hand slides into Steve's disheveled hair, his fingers gliding over the warm skin underneath and then Steve leans forward, his eyes sparkling in the dim light in the hallway, blue and intense.

“You wanna talk about hair all day?”

Christian shakes his head and pulls him closer until they stand chest to chest. The touch sends slight shivers down his spine and he moans as Steve's hand crawls around his waist, the other one settles on the back of his neck.

“Been a while, huh, Kane?”

“Way too long, Carlson.”

Steve smiles wistfully, then his lips are on Christian's, gentle and careful, kissing him as if it’s the first time. Christian groans deep in his throat and feels Steve smiling against his mouth.

His tongue flicks out and over Christian's bottom lip, Christian opens up for him, moaning softly as Steve's taste explodes in his mouth.

He tightens his grip around the other man, their tongues meet, carefully exploring, dancing and sliding against each other, re-discovering the feeling of kissing each other.

Soft sounds fill the hallway, quiet moans while their breathing quickens as they deepen the kiss.

Steve's hand around his neck presses him closer, his moans rumbling low through his chest and making Christian shudder as the vibrations ripple against his own body.

He is reduced to feeling, smelling, tasting Steve and he wants to crawl inside the other man, kissing him like this for the rest of his time.

Steve licks deep in his mouth, pulls back a bit and gently bites Christian’s sensitive bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and Christian growls loudly at the feeling.

He squeezes his eyes shut, allows himself to get lost in the kiss and the amazing feeling of Steve's weight in his arms.

Steve nips on his lip one last time then pulls back, running a thumb over the burning flesh, drawing another soft sigh.

“Fuck, I missed this,” Steve whispers and Christian nods, eyes still closed, the feeling of Steve still lingering in his mouth.

“Hey, c'mon, don’t faint on me.”

Steve closes his hands around Christian's shoulders as he sways a little.

Christian opens his eyes with a disappointed whine before he huffs a shy laugh.

“Whoops, guess I'm not used to that kind of attack on an empty stomach,” he grumbles, feeling a blush creep over his cheeks.

Steve laughs lowly, caressing his face, and Christian leans into his touch.

“C'mon man, I’ll make you breakfast.”

Steve shrugs off his jacket and walks towards the kitchen. Christian watches the play of his muscles under the thin fabric of his shirt and swallows hard before he slowly follows him.

Steve's already snooping through the drawers, mumbling to himself.

Christian leans against the doorframe and watches him.

Steve feels his eyes and throws him a glance over the shoulder.

“You know that'd be creepy for some people. Watching them like that.”

Christian smirks.

“Ain’t creepy for you.”

Steve chuckles and shrugs.

“Nope, but I’ve known you for a while now, that’s the shit you do, Kane.”

“You look good in my kitchen, you know that?”

Steve puts the eggs he got from the fridge down and turns to face Christian, letting his eyes wander over the full length of his body before he cocks an eyebrow at him.

“And you look good with only shorts on,” he drawls lowly, looking him deep into the eyes.

Christian's heart stops for a second before it starts beating again.

He was still not really used to that kind of compliment, even though he likes the slight fluttering in his stomach that always comes with them.

Steve eyes him for another moment before he turns back, an unspoken promise in the air.

Christian stumbles to the table and falls onto a chair, hands slightly trembling.

A steaming mug appears in front of him and as he looks up, Steve is smiling down at him.

“Breakfast is coming up soon,” he says with a wink. He tucks a strand of Christian's dark hair back and returns to his preparations.

Christian sips on his coffee, just watching him contently.

Steve is humming silently, getting lost in his doings and Christian has never felt better.

It takes a while until he realizes what’s wrong.

“Hey,” he says, “why are you here already? Didn’t you say...”

Steve laughs out loudly.

“I wanted to surprise you. Do you have any idea how hard that phone call was last night?! Not telling you that I was already on the way? I flew out last night, right after we talked. I...” he hesitates a second, “I couldn’t stand it anymore...”

He sighs and turns, leaning against the counter.

“I just had to see you.”

It’s just a simple sentence but it cuts straight to Christian's heart, and he can't say anything to that. He swallows around the lump in his throat.

“I'm glad you did,” he mutters eventually and hides his burning cheeks in his mug.

“Me too.”

Christian glances through his lashes but Steve has turned again to finish what he's doing and Christian is relieved.

He's still adjusting to this – to  _them_. He always thought he was as straight as they come but when it comes to Steve he can't think of any woman he wants to be with instead.

There have always been feelings for him, but Christian has never really thought about it. Their friendship has lasted for over a decade; they were closer to each other than he'd ever been with anyone else. He had never in a million years thought that it might be anything other than friendship.

But as Steve said he's going to leave for London something inside him just snapped. Sure, he'd known about that, and Steve had flown to the UK the last couple of years on a regular basis.

But this time something was wrong and he couldn’t figure it out. Instead he got pissed and made that stupid ultimatum.

The last year was terrible and he knew he screwed up big time. But he was too proud to call him and apologize. That’s just not how he was, and it almost broke him.

He had heard from a couple of friends that Steve was doing pretty bad during that time and he knew that feeling all too well. His stubborn head, though, didn’t want to be the one to give in.

Sometimes he'd been sitting in his dark apartment, the phone in his hand, Steve’s number dialed. But he'd never had the guts to press the 'call' button.

He'd been drinking too much, sleeping with too many women that didn’t mean anything to him; he'd felt like the ass he was back then but he couldn’t help himself.

Eventually Jared had had enough and had sent him to his house with a petty excuse to get him something he'd forgotten.

He'd been shocked to the bone when he'd seen Steve there. And he'd almost fucked up again.

Christian sends a muted prayer to the Powers That Be for Jared's little girl; without her he probably have stormed out and would not have seen Steve ever again.

“Stop pondering, Kane, it's not good for you,” Steve teases and Christian blushes again.

Steve snickers and sets a full plate in front of him.

“You're adorable when you blush,” he says as he sits next to him.

“Hey,” he nudges him gently in the side, voice serious now, “the past is the past, okay? We said we won’t look back, remember?” and Christian is again baffled how well Steve can read him. But that's what he'd always done and Christian gave up wondering about it.

He nods; Steve's right but sometimes he can't stop thinking about the 'what if's'.

“And no 'what if's' either...,” Steve growls, but there's no heat in his tone, “we've paid our dues, both of us. We talked, we put that past us and we....”

Christian leans over and stops Steve's rambling with a kiss. He feels butterflies in his stomach and his throat closes up a little but it doesn't stop him. He's still anxious of doing things wrong but Steve immediately responds, opens his lips and Christian's tongue slips in, curling around Steve's. Both moan quietly as the kiss deepens, heat and want making Christian's head spin. He breaks the kiss, gasping for air as he leans his forehead against Steve's.

His eyes are shimmering in the still dim light, deep as the ocean, filled with something Christian doesn’t quite understand, but it makes his stomach flip joyfully. 

“C'mon, eat, man, before it gets cold,” Steve whispers before he pulls away, trying to catch his breath.

Christian looks at his plate blindly for a moment before he takes his fork and starts eating.

Steve stands up and pours himself another coffee. He returns to his seat, pulling his knees up and rests his chin on them, watching Christian dig into his food.

“Who's the creepy one now, huh?”

Steve chuckles and takes a drink of his coffee.

“Hey, an eye for an eye...”

Christian shakes his head but he smiles as he finishes his breakfast in silence.

Outside the sky starts to lighten up, not really a sunrise, just an increasing of gray light. Birds start chirping in front of the window but it’s hesitant and quiet.

Steve leans back, letting his eyes slide through the kitchen and the nearby living room.

“You know,” he says cheerily, “you really need to get outta here. The dark isn’t good for you.”

Christian snorts and shoves the last bite in his mouth.

“So? Whatcha gonna do about it?”

Steve grins mischievously and gets up to get his jacket. He throws an envelope on the table and Christian looks at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Open it.”

Christian takes it and as he opens it an airline ticket falls out. He looks at it and then back to Steve, who only smiles at him.

“Read.”

Christian holds the ticket closer to find the destination, and as he eventually figures it out he's confused.

Apparently it shows because Steve slides closer and lifts his chin with one hand.

“Just you and me. To make it right this time.”

Christian's confusion increases but Steve leans in and kisses him gently before he pulls back.

“What do you say?” he asks, running a hand through Christian's hair.

“It isn’t much lighter there.”

Steve rolls his eyes and kisses him again.

“Silly, springtime there is beautiful.”

“I guess I'll have to talk to Eric then,” Christian mumbles, a smile spreading over his face.

“Do that and then let me know.”

Christian's looks at the ticket again, grinning widely now.

“London,” he mutters, “been a while since I've been there.”

“Two years,” Steve says quietly, still combing through Christian's wild hair.

“Fuck, that long?”

Steve nods, caressing Christian's neck with slow, almost hypnotic motions.

“Hmm...and we didn’t even have time to see a bit of the city. I’m gonna show you all of the good places.”

Christian stiffens a bit at the thought; the city and its name still has a slightly bitter note in it, but Steve feels that and his mouth quickly erases all of those thoughts.

“Just you and me, Chris, nobody else. Nobody shooing us around, nobody wanting anything from us. We’ll have all the time in the world, just you and me and a wonderful time in Europe.”

He’s murmuring against Christian's lips, pulling him closer, caressing his neck, his back and Christian sighs at the feeling.

“Sounds okay with me,” he whispers back before he dives into another deep kiss that leaves them both breathless and flushed.

Actually it seems like a pretty great idea, creating new memories out of a bad one, and that's the last thought Christian has for while as Steve presses closer and kisses him harder, making him forget anything around them.

Outside the sun peeks through the dark clouds, enlightening the pair in the kitchen and embracing them in its warm light.

 

 


End file.
